Image courtesy of The Ballerina Project
So. The Fall Formal Dance is tonight at our school.
Dances are actually a very common thing at Sadie Lou. We usually have one every week, ones that are usually dominated by the first-years and their bad music.
However, the Fall Formal is a main event at our school and everyone ends up going—and I STILL don’t know if I want to go.
I’ve had a bad time at dances. I remember my first one. I got all dressed and dolled up and wore my cutest skirt (I was still a dork), and my mother insisted on taking pictures.
Wow, I can’t believe this on my computer. But here I am.
I didn’t get asked to dance with anyone, and I think I spent a lot of time on the side looking over at the monsters across the gym (middle school boys).
Nonetheless, I went to a few the next year, and the year after. Still not really dancing with anyone, or even really wanting to.
About eighth grade, I decided it wasn’t really worth it anymore. And eventually, I stopped attending, though a few people actually offered to take me to prom or homecoming as friends through high school.
Mostly, it was because I wasn’t sure what I was more afraid of, that someone would ask me to dance—or that someone wouldn’t. People had long past the point of standing on opposite sides of the room.
I got to college and was so happy to be over with dances (though I went swing dancing with some friends a few times—embarrassing myself). And then an email popped up inviting people to a dance at West Point, and then the Fall Formal.
My first inclination was to say that no way I was going to go. If I hated them in high school, what would make me think I would like them now? Wouldn’t I rather stay back at the dorm and watch a movie?
But it’s a funny thing about standing on the side a lot of your life. At some point you get tired of accepting things as they are. And you can look at it as a choice. I chose to stay on the side before. I chose not to go to dances later. I chose to stay on one side instead of risking my heart and pride and crossing over to the other side.
None of us want to get hurt—and I NEVER do. But I’m getting tired of viewing my life from one side of the gym. And realizing I might have a choice in how it goes changes everything.
I don’t know if I will go to this dance tonight, but it’s reminded me that much of life is a choice, and it’s all a matter of how you view it and which choices you end up making. And if we look at our own lives, what do we want to remember them as?
And according to friends, I have a mean running man…
Oh, my friend Nicole wrote a really sweet blog post about me here. She’s so nice!
♪ Barenaked Ladies – Maybe You Should Drive – Jane ♪