I thought I had gotten much better about making decisions.
When I was a kid, I couldn’t do it. I would hem and haw and pace back and forth—unable to make a decision about the littlest thing (like signing up for ballet classes for another year). I was always afraid of making “the wrong choice,” and it kind of paralyzed me.
As I got older, I got better. I decided I wanted to publish my book, I wanted to study abroad, I wanted to move to New York and try something else. I was okay with making all these decisions. I may have doubted them, but I always made them firmly, knowing it was what I wanted.
I’m running into another big decision within the next few months, and I’m having a really hard time making it. Graduation is rolling around, and I have to decide what I am going to do afterward. Stay in New York and get a job in publishing? Move back home and work and write? Or something else…
Unlike decisions I’ve made before, this one isn’t clear. There’s no particular “I want this” moment. I don’t know what I want, and that frustrates me.
I know eventually I will make a decision and that I need to just trust that everything will turn out okay. Life has a way of working itself out.
How do you make big life decisions? Any tips to help me make mine?
♪ Treetop Flyers – To Bury the Past – EP – Is It All Worth It? ♪